I am still alive!

All I have to say...this as been a long and exhausting week. This is the first time I have even opened my laptop in 5 days...that should tell you something. I have so much to be thankful for. But first let me fill you in on some details. Last Saturday I woke up with pain in my back, it was uncomfortable, felt like I slept wrong and somehow pulled a muscle or something. Going back even further...I had ankle surgery about 2 weeks prior, so I can't use my left foot at all, therefore my place to sleep has been on the couch. Anyway, as the day went by, it kept getting worse. Rick was skiing and by the time he got back it was really bad. It felt like someone had kicked me hard on my ribs. It was so bad that I couldn't breath. Rick asked if we should go in and I said, I will probably be fine. Well the pain was so bad I was buckling over and couldn't breath. Rick got the kids rounded up in the car and off we went to the ER. (I'm using a "roll about" coolest thing, helps me get places without having to use crutches.) So I rolled in to ER "I can't breath" I was taken back right away. First they thought it was collapsed lung, but they took a xray and ruled that out. They did some more test and I had to do a CT scan and found out that I had PE (Pulmonary Embolism which is a condition that occurs when an artery in your lung becomes blocked. In most cases, the blockage is caused by one or more blood clots that travel to your lungs from another part of your body.) They gave me some blood thinners and sent me to the hospital. I can barely remember Sunday-Tuesday. I WAS MISERABLE! I also got pneumonia infection so my fever spiked to over 103 degrees Farenheit (40 celcius). I was heavily medicated and drugged up and I hated it. I thought I was going to die. I kept thinking "please let me live, I want to live..."

My arms are bruised and full of holes from the nurses trying to find veins to put in IV's. I have an IV in each arm, my foot is not usable...yes it's a bit much for me. I can't stand it that I have to ask someone to get me to the bathroom every time, which seems to be a lot.

Today it's the 5th day of being here, it get's boring and lonesome. I was just looking at pictures of Dylan and Isabella and I miss them so much. I started to cry and at that moment the doctor came in and said I might have to be here for 2 more days... :( Not what I wanted to hear.

However, having done some complaining I can tell you that I will never take my life for granted again. Not being able to breath because there is something lodged in your lung andknowing that I could have died if I wouldn't have gone in when I did...it makes me whan to scream out loud THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU FAMILY AND FRIENDS, THANK YOU DOCTORS. I know I was watched over during this time, with all the many prayers...I felt them!
I feel blessed to be surrounded with love, to have so many good people around me. You have all been so helpful.

My poor mother is calling everyday from Sweden worried sick. I can imagine how she feels knowing your baby is so far away and sick. She is posting everyone back home.

I have to go, feel a bit faint. Will send more updates when I can.

LOVE